This is of course one of the hardest topics to discuss with arrangements.
The main reason, I feel, is the fact that men are more sexual than women and men are often looking primarily for sexual fulfilment. This is hard to avoid when you are messaging, or dating an absolutely stunning woman.
The second reason is the fact that money is involved and, as I have stressed previously, sugar relationship arrangements are not about cash for sex.
Also another thing that you must consider, is the fact that there are many girls looking for platonic arrangements. This is completely acceptable as it, is companion based not sex based.
If you think all a woman is good for is fulfilling your sexual needs then you should not be contemplating getting involved in a sugar arrangement because quite frankly that attitude is disgusting.
Sex to me is the extra, it is not part of the arrangement but if it were to happen further down the line then it should be the icing (and marzipan) on the cake. (I’m quite a fan of icing and marzipan both literally and metaphorically)
What about excitement and mystery? If a woman was to happily open her legs, apologies for being crude, to any man who gave her some money or bought her a gift what does that say about her? Is she the kind of woman you want something long term with?
A sugar arrangement is about fulfilling a range of your needs not just sexual. If you have nothing missing from your life but sex then, once again, sugar arrangements are not for you.
So what if you want sex as part of the arrangement?
I think this aspect is one that is similar to that of a normal relationship. Yes some people do have sex on the first, second or third date with normal dating. However it is common place that two people get to know each other, build on the chemistry, flirt, tease, and intensify the mystery and anticipation. I believe this should apply to sugar arrangements.
So how to apply this to the arrangement
1. Do not mention sex within the first lot of messages, unless asked. You are a gent, you are able to have other thoughts than those influenced by your man hood and you are not driven nor controlled by those influenced thoughts.
2. When it comes to mentioning it explain to her that you are not looking for a purely platonic arrangement and would like to take things further should you get along, have chemistry and both parties are happy to go forward. This well let her know that you are a gent, considerate, respectful and not pushy, therefore she will instantly feel a little more at ease and happy to meet you.
3. Do not suggest staying in the same hotel room. Mention that you will get her a room for herself. Don’t forget the safety factor also. She will not want to be in a room alone with you if she doesn’t want to put herself at risk of abuse.
4. Do not suggest to stay at your house, if you would like to progress to this then say when we get to know each other better and the relationship has progressed and if you feel comfortable I would like you to stay at my house on the weekends we meet. (Also be concerned about her safety concerns)
5. If you have your separate rooms don’t linger about hoping to invite in hers or express you are disappointed that nothing sexual was suggested. This will make her feel like you’re trying to force it on her. If you are a true gentleman then you should want her to want you not feel she has to. This is a huge difference in attitudes and how to treat a woman.
6, Of course sexual chemistry is important, you will also want to ensure you are sexually compatible and if she is a woman as opposed to a girl then she too will enjoy sex and want to make sure you’re not lacking in that department too.
Have body contact further along in the dates, kiss and grow more familiar with each other. Maybe take her underwear shopping further down the line to be a little suggestive….
7. Let her come to you. You’ve told her you want something sexual eventually, you’ve hinted to her about sharing rooms or having her stay at yours but do not make her feel obliged to. That is distasteful. If things are going at a very slow rate and you’ve had many dates don’t be afraid to ask if she’s happy, content and comfortable with you. You could ask her if she needs more time to feel comfortable, this gives her the opportunity to say ‘Yes I do, I don’t feel we’re quite there yet' or 'Just a little more time then I would love to stay over' or even 'I do feel comfortable, maybe I could stay over next date.’. Ensure that you respect her for her choices and remember to stay focused on everything else she is fulfilling and giving to you.
It is, to me, very simple but it seems that men lose their chivalry and gentleman ways when it comes to arrangements with beautiful women and when it concerns spending money. Women are often inexperienced with arrangements and often experience difficulty being honest and straight forward with difficult topics like this resulting in the two factors when combined proving to create difficult circumstances…
You shouldn’t develop the attitude that just because you’re giving her gifts and or an allowance that it is not mutually beneficial until you get your sexual fulfillment.